Mind

My mind feels like a glitch
A mess of noise and static
A numbness that spreads to my hands and legs
A dryness of the throat, saliva in the windpipe
the ends of my skin breaking up into sea-foam
My inner core like molten Lava, feeding off any feeling left to stay alive
But there’s nothing left and it hurts so bad
To have the flames feed off the walls of my brain, making my head itch and eyes twitch  like crazy
On the brink of sheer madness, so potent and pure
I relish in my tears that drown my volcanic heart
And whisper to myself, crazed, dazed
As I rock on my bed
More bits becoming sea-foam
Fingernails falling off
My mind become tangles of color and sound, melting like it’s on acid
Every part, every piece and organ, skin and muscle feels like it’s melting
But my throat stays dry
No matter how much water pours from my pores and back into the sea from which it came
I can’t speak a word
Because I have nothing left to say, what’s the point of speaking when everything stays the same.

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A Young God’s Reprimands

I loved him past the tears he shed upon my head that drowned me in a sticky sort of web.
I would hold my arms up to reach his face and whisper for him to open his eyes and we would gaze silently into each other’s abyss.
When he would float too far past the Milky Ways and nebulas, I would be his tether back to Earth, ready to accept him back home.
I just…love him so much. I wanted to see him always well.
I would take his tears, his pains, his fears, I would take it all if it meant him breathing fresh air for only just a few moments, if meant him sleeping sound for just one more night.
But now, I am the regret and disgust left in shambles on his doorstep, ready for the mailman to ship me back to space where I will bite the nubs of my nails clean off my fingers in confusion and frustration for a thousand more light years to come.
If I loved too deeply, why was I not pulled up before my oxygen tank ran out?
If I cared too much, why feed me more and more honeycombs from your dead, rotten fingers?
But I may just overestimate myself too much, darling.
Perhaps, in your eyes, I was not enough to quench your inquisitive values, your fairytales of water-walking men, and perfect matrimony.
You have taunted my urge for perfection so much that you never realized your own imperfection in your lust for something so unreal and unobtainable.
Gods, how I hate the feeling of sweetly-dipped memories we shared, of tongue against tongue, forbidden fruit to mouth.
How lucky you are, child of hell, that you were given the power to taste my every feature with your eyes and your mouth, the very first might I add and-
No, no, no; this is not about you so hush your seething, forked tongue before I pull your ill-grown teeth right out your jaws with my fathers’ rusted pliers.
You evil little snake, devil of a man who crept into my temple and ravished the bodies of my oracles, I curse your very existence as you plague my origins with your depravity.
I see you, seeking out the freshest of the batch, tugging the robes from their shoulders and biting their necks while calling them ‘kisses’. The way you look into their eyes as you forget the goodness in your heart and take, and take, and take.
You spineless, coward, little, insignificant waste of breath, how I wish to snuff your light out, but your candle’s wick is far too stubborn to bend for any love of yours, too stubborn to even tilt for me.
May your bow-legged limbs stretch to the farthest ends of earth and snap and shatter into pieces you will never find.
May your jaws become weak, just like the teeth inside, and become unhinged for eternity, the same way you do when you lusted for my body.
And may your mind, yes your mind, become consumed by the ghosts of my oracles as I feast upon the remains of your shambled corpse for you are my greatest love and deepest hate and no one deserves to experience you but me.

Aftermath of A God’s World

You’re warm like summer and silky as cream

Slipping past my fingertips

As I raise you above your planet

And spill you back to whence you came

You are the sand that caresses my palms

And I feel every grain

I value every creature, every child that is mine

From the empty-eyed doe to the bow legged goat

Lovingly, I whisper life into their lungs and light into their minds

Bite me all you like, I shall never harm you

But bring destruction upon yourselves, that is when I cannot save you

You are hot like the summer and white as sour milk

The pearly bones of your existence slip past my fingertips

As you are risen above your planet

And crushed inside my palm

And spilled back to whence you came


This is a re-post from my Instagram. I felt that all poetry should eventually find its way back home to here, no matter where they are first birthed.

I’m Growing Up

What’s it like to grow up?

Do you notice it like the way you notice the bags under your eyes when you first wake up? Is it like a killer migraine after a night of being drugged up? Fucked up?

Or is it like a germinating seed, just sown 1/4 ” deep, blooming on the night of a midsummer’s eve? 

Is it beautiful? Does it feel good? Does the world make more sense now? 

Does it hurt? Did it always hurt or did it hurt when you finally decided to grow up? 

Do you choose if you grow up or not? 

Can you stop it from happening? Should you stop it from happening?

I think it’s like a beauty trend. The next hot seller, fresh out the market, the most popular thing to wear during summer. And we obsess like there’s no tomorrow, grabbing greedily at something we don’t even understand. We think we do, but we don’t. 

No one can comprehend the responsibility of growing up. No one can take the responsibility of compensating all the petty white lies, heart breaks and heart aches, migraines, and empty promises. The cold stares, being unawares, hollow kisses, and negligence. No gift of money or proud compelling or acceptance can heal what has been severed and mangled. 

And you ask me, ‘”What should I do?”‘

I cannot give you an answer to your question, unfortunately. Because what you asked is something a “grown up” should already know what to do.

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