Cosmitopia

Do you live past the cosmos
Where flowers bloom from deer antlers
Where the veins in your arms turn green with envy at the sight of a brighter star
Breathe in the dust of afterlife
And cough out the sparkling ooze used to make the planets spin forever?
.
Are your wounds as fragrant as roses
Your tears and cries as empty and sweet as blown sugar
Are you as amorphous as the dream I had last night?
.
Your friends, do they look like me at all
Like us, like someone worth talking to and spending all of eternity with?
.
I don’t know.
I don’t know where you are, or how you look, or what you think.
Most of all, I don’t know if you’re real.
But…if you are…
Won’t you please send out your prettiest shooting star?
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A Young God’s Reprimands

I loved him past the tears he shed upon my head that drowned me in a sticky sort of web.
I would hold my arms up to reach his face and whisper for him to open his eyes and we would gaze silently into each other’s abyss.
When he would float too far past the Milky Ways and nebulas, I would be his tether back to Earth, ready to accept him back home.
I just…love him so much. I wanted to see him always well.
I would take his tears, his pains, his fears, I would take it all if it meant him breathing fresh air for only just a few moments, if meant him sleeping sound for just one more night.
But now, I am the regret and disgust left in shambles on his doorstep, ready for the mailman to ship me back to space where I will bite the nubs of my nails clean off my fingers in confusion and frustration for a thousand more light years to come.
If I loved too deeply, why was I not pulled up before my oxygen tank ran out?
If I cared too much, why feed me more and more honeycombs from your dead, rotten fingers?
But I may just overestimate myself too much, darling.
Perhaps, in your eyes, I was not enough to quench your inquisitive values, your fairytales of water-walking men, and perfect matrimony.
You have taunted my urge for perfection so much that you never realized your own imperfection in your lust for something so unreal and unobtainable.
Gods, how I hate the feeling of sweetly-dipped memories we shared, of tongue against tongue, forbidden fruit to mouth.
How lucky you are, child of hell, that you were given the power to taste my every feature with your eyes and your mouth, the very first might I add and-
No, no, no; this is not about you so hush your seething, forked tongue before I pull your ill-grown teeth right out your jaws with my fathers’ rusted pliers.
You evil little snake, devil of a man who crept into my temple and ravished the bodies of my oracles, I curse your very existence as you plague my origins with your depravity.
I see you, seeking out the freshest of the batch, tugging the robes from their shoulders and biting their necks while calling them ‘kisses’. The way you look into their eyes as you forget the goodness in your heart and take, and take, and take.
You spineless, coward, little, insignificant waste of breath, how I wish to snuff your light out, but your candle’s wick is far too stubborn to bend for any love of yours, too stubborn to even tilt for me.
May your bow-legged limbs stretch to the farthest ends of earth and snap and shatter into pieces you will never find.
May your jaws become weak, just like the teeth inside, and become unhinged for eternity, the same way you do when you lusted for my body.
And may your mind, yes your mind, become consumed by the ghosts of my oracles as I feast upon the remains of your shambled corpse for you are my greatest love and deepest hate and no one deserves to experience you but me.

My Cellar.

Girls and boys I love them both and keep them in my cellar,

One and two and twenty ploys I keep under surrender.

One day a man came to my door so I pluck a girl and tell her

“Don’t tell him what I hide beneath, don’t show him your bruised and battered feet, don’t tell him what I hide beneath, or else I shall make you pay,”

So the girl greets the man in a solemn kind of way, she curtsies slow, they talk, he goes and at the end of the day, still nobody knows what is in my cellar.

—-

The next day, the man came back to visit to see the girl again

But I dumped her body somewhere, I don’t remember where, so I grab a boy and whisper

“Don’t tell him what I hide beneath, don’t speak for your voice is hoarse and bleak, don’t tell him what I hide beneath, or else I shall make you pay,”

And so the boy waves to the man, he grinned at him, he shook his hand, and after tea that gentleman went on his merry way

And at the end of the day, still nobody knows what is in my cellar.

—-

The following day, that cursed man came back to speak with the boy

But I left him alone to starve and die somewhere far from this home

With no one left I can present to him cleanly (for rest of them had turned quite greenly), I came to the door with a coy and just grin, welcoming him quite sweetly

The man, however, did not react the way he once did as he swiftly passed my figure, through the door he wandered in and asked where were my children

“Oh them?” I ask, quite cheerfully spoken

“They are but away. Have gone away to their Uncle’s home and shall be back again some day,”

“That is quite a shame,” the man said low, shaking his head uneven,

He blocked the door, but right before, brandished a knife quite cunning

“Tis’ a shame your children aren’t here to see what I shall do to you, sweet.

Tis’ a shame they won’t know what to say when you are completely gone,”

I blinked with surprise, astonishment in my eyes, while my lips curled into a sneer,

“Do what you please, but when I die, you must abide to these rules as well, my sweet,”

He nodded stiffly and listened closely as I leaned in close and said,

“Don’t tell them what I hide beneath, don’t touch my steps with your filthy feet, don’t tell them what I hide beneath, or else,” I glared,

“I shall make you pay,”

And so he pressed the knife against my throat, both firm and very bold

A squelch, a squeal, a thrashing moment before everything went cold

He dragged my body messily across the polished marble floors,

He dragged my body and then he dropped me,

Right past the cellar door.

—-

And to this day, I must say, and all I know concurs

at the end of the day, still nobody knows what is in my cellar.

A Bedtime Story from Cap

How about a bedtime story? A change of tone, my heathens. I hope you don’t mind that it isn’t Sunday.

Today, I speak with you all personally about a dream I once had when I was a very small child. The thing about being a child is that there is so much that appears to be beautiful in our eyes. From the way water trickles down the driveway after the car is washed to the way the lavender-colored trees sway to and fro on a very windy day because they are just so enormously tall. A sparkle and twinkle in your eye, a grin spread so wide that it may just be good for something later on. Ah, and your hands were so small, just like all the clothes you used to wear.

Or perhaps you used to live near the sea? Where breezes were mingled with salt and water and the skies had a constant grey overcast, it can’t always be sunny after all. But there were still days where the sand would become littered in shovels and pails and little moulds of turtles and seahorses. Lighthouses that never really worked the way you thought they would. Wooden fences wearing down because the sea kept trying to face plant into it. How the world seemed so divided once your feet moved from sand to black asphalt, so different.

Maybe you lived somewhere stranger, like near a bog or marsh? I’ve never been to a place, but I know a dear friend who has. They live there in peace and fill my nights with love stories between cloud gods and thunder strikes, hot weather and rainy weather, the cool darkness of their room compared to the warm embrace of a million bedsheets.

Strange and crazy things happening right under your nose that they couldn’t possibly tell me for…reasons, I suppose.

It is such a pretty world we live in that sometimes I forget the monsters that plague us everyday. I forget the cruel truth of friendships and love, how the two seem so unbreakable yet, are truly very fragile.

I feel like we are stepping on a glass marble that will shatter under our heels at any given moment. So strange, yet so familiar.

I am happy we can be content in knowing that our existences are fragile. I am so happy.

Goodnight, my heathens. May your slumbers be ever peaceful.

-Cap

Mindless Drabbles

Why can’t feeling be bought at the gas station

Amnesia sold in bottled plastic,

Emptiness poured in soup cans,

Empathy packed in air-tight bags,

With shrink wrap seals

And alarm-rigged boxes

But trauma is free to those that don’t want it

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